Video evokes the best in people.
by Jody Dallaire, Dieppe Advisory Committee on Equal Opportunity between Women and Men
Recently, the community news website Miramichi Online went around asking, "What is the most generous thing that someone has ever done for you?" Then the site produced a charming 10-minute video called: "50 people, One question".
Cameras are rolling when people hear the question that they are invited to answer. It is fascinating to see them react live. An incredible number cannot think of something on the spot, but probably continued thinking about the question as they left and when they woke up in the middle of the night.
There are the stories of unexpected small acts of kindness — strangers who gave of their money or time out of the blue at a time when someone really needed it. The kindness can be small, a bag of groceries, a free month's rent, a free taxi ride, but it leaves a big impression.
One guy immediately thought of his mother who bought him a car when he was 15. The car still made it to his top of the list most generous thing that someone has ever done for him even though the poor thing never left the driveway because it needed more work than could be paid for and his mother later sold it for half of what she had paid. Thanks, Mom!
There are big-picture stories. "Give me life", was what one young man immediately said, and probably should be up there for all of us. "Marry me," said someone who had just celebrated a wedding anniversary. "Sent me to school", said one man enigmatically. "My uncle asking me to live in his house when I was a punk ass kid." Some mentioned fundraisers for family members who are ailing and in need of help.
One guy holding a baby, only a few months old, immediately said, "My wife gave me this baby," to general tearing up.
Some answers were maybe less than stirring. "Someone cooked me an excellent dinner," seems pretty tame. Maybe you had to be there at the time. Miramichi Online deserves credit for original thinking and professional execution. A quick internet search does not come up with similar initiatives elsewhere in other communities. There are surprisingly few forums where anyone asked similar questions, and even fewer where the answers are straight and commonsense as the Miramichi gang gave.
Asked to name generous gifts, people around the world came up with some cynical answers, such as: "The Irish state handing over billions of tax payers money to cronies," or "George Bush bringing democracy to millions of people in the middle east."
Some other people's stories are just sad, such as: "I gave someone a $20 bill thinking it was a $10 and they came back and told me I made an error". That's not generosity, that's honesty.
Even very young children can show generosity. Here's a favourite story: "After a family death, my 2 year old cousin saw me crying and gave me the teddy bear that was never out of her hands. She never took her eyes off it for the few minutes I held it. She was willing to give up her most treasured possession to make me feel better. She was really relieved when I gave him back though."
There were surprising number of stories of help received while traveling, in a strange land. Is that where we feel most appreciative? Where we feel most vulnerable?
If we are to list the really generous things that go on around us, we should list all the volunteers and volunteer hours, all the donations, all the solidarity in each community. Hey, let's acknowledge the generosity of everyone who pays taxes, so there is a health system and an education system. Our whole tax system is based on this notion of community solidarity.
I think that we should ask ourselves these types of questions more often, as a way to help us appreciate what we have. For myself, I believe that hundreds of acts of kindness received from others (both big and small) make me the person that I am today. I hope that I can do justice to these acts of kindness and be someone else's "most generous benefactor."
I invite you to both reflect on your most generous benefactors and how you can do the same for someone else.
About Jody Dallaire
Jody Dallaire lives and works in Dieppe New Brunswick where she writes a weekly column on women's equality issues and matters of social justice.
Email: jody.dallaire@rogers.com.
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